Maybe it's time to establish some boundaries. Of course, for boundaries to work, you have to enforce them, but we will leave that for a different post. I will say that I believe it is unfair to expect children to do what we have not trained them to do. Sticking a bunch of rules on the refrigerator and then getting mad when they are broken is only frustrating to both you and your children.
Children learn by what they see us do. If you are not willing to follow the rules yourself, then it is unfair to expect your children to follow them. For instance, if you expect your children to follow rule #2 (We will love others as Jesus loves them) and then you snap at your spouse or talk about your neighbor, you are expecting them to be loving and kind when you are not. If you expect them to follow rule #5 and not complain, then they shouldn't have to listen to you complain about how nobody can pick up after themselves and you are overworked and underpaid. We all make mistakes, but your children should have the benefit of seeing you lead the way in character. You will have a much easier time getting them to follow your house standard if they are seeing you try to do the same.
These are the house rules that we follow in our home. At the beginning of each school year, we talk about what each rule looks like in action (in other words, how to apply it in every day situations). For the first semester, at the beginning of each school day, we read them out loud (just to make sure we've all got them). If I feel like we are starting to slip, we will go over them again until we are back on track.
Our House Rules
1. We will love the Lord will all our heart, mind and strength.
2. We will love others as Jesus loves them.
3. We will look for opportunities to serve others in this house and elsewhere.
4. When we use something we will put it back where it belongs.
5. We will not complain. If we cannot think of something positive to say, we will say nothing at all.
6. We will expect nothing and be thankful for everything.
7. We will treat others the way we wish we were treated.
8. We will obey our parents (and God) quickly and quietly the first time with a good attitude.
