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5 Things I Never Thought I'd Say to My Kids


When I found out I was pregnant with my first child, I had visions of sweet, still moments of bliss.  My children would quietly busy themselves at my side while I continued to do all the things I did before I had children.  Yeah.  I know.  I was in a fantasy world spurned by all those Victorian pictures of children draping themselves lovingly around their mother while she read or sewed.

My first child (a daughter) wasn't too far off.  She loved to draw from an early age, so we would both work quietly on things side by side.  Her only desire was to please me.  She was easy.  I thought I was the perfect parent.

Then I had boys.

Life got a lot more lively around our house.  The energy level went through the roof.
I adapted.

But hey, now I am able to bring you "5 Things I Never Thought I'd Say to My Kids".
There is a perfectly reasonable explanation for every single one of them.  I promise.

5 Things I Never Thought I'd Say to My Kids

1.  "Don't do that or you won't get media for the rest of your life."  If you've been a parent very long, you get that one.  'Nuf said.  (Don't worry that I broke my word to my son.  He knew I wasn't serious.)

2.  "Um..You're about to get your head plowed."  One son was moving the couch while the other was head-butting it.  What can I say?

3.  "Eat until you pop."   This one gets used a lot around our house.  I have a teenage son and a pre-teen son.  They eat.  A LOT.  They are constantly asking me if they can eat things. Sometimes I just want them to get full.

4.  "All amoebas should go to bed."  This was just last night at bedtime.  Rocket-boy had covered himself with a blanket.  He was crawling around at my feet and attacking my legs.  Life is never dull at our house.

5.  "Pick your eyeballs up off the floor."  May-may was putting eyeballs on a slinky.  Things were getting a little wild and I needed the kids to settle down and clean things up.  When this came out of my mouth, they all turned and stared at me.  Then they all burst out laughing. Sigh...

I don't make this stuff up.  These things just pop out of my mouth at the most random times. Do you think my kids will be warped?

Have a great day!

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